18 Days Left: The Uninvited (2009)

Normally I don't go for these American remakes of Japanese ghost pictures. First, I'm not much in the way of a fan of the originals. Muddled stories and creepy ghost children don't really do it for me. If I had known The Uninvited was a remake, I probably would have skipped it without a second thought (except that it was lent to me, and I always watch movies I borrow). Shit man, I can't take another watered down PG-13 remake of a film I probably wouldn't enjoy anyway (would have been my thought if I knew this was a remake). Well, it turns out...this is a remake of a South Korean film (A Tale of Two Sisters). Not Japanese. Also, I guess the directors (The Guard brothers) are British or something. Not American. Fuck, maybe I'll find some enjoyment here after all.

I did.

This is my kind of ghost story. The kind that stars the hauntingly adorable Emily Browning. Holy shit, what eyes. What a mouth. What hair. I started to creep myself out when I realized the only other thing I've seen her in is Lemony Snicket when she was about 14. She's 20 now, so it's fine. Anyway, Browning plays Anna, a troubled teen living in a mental facility as a result of a recent tragedy that claimed her mother. After some time has passed, Anna is finally released into the care of her father (the always reliable David Strathairn) and is surprised to learn her father is shacking up with her mom's former nurse, Rachel (Elizabeth Banks). Also, living with them is Anna's sister, Alex (Arielle Kebbel). Their house exists somewhere along the New England (Maine?) coast I'm guessing, since Strathairn is some kind of writer. There's a boathouse, a rocky shore, a winding drive, etc. Perfect shit for a ghost story.

It doesn't take long before Anna begins having visions. First, she sees her dead mother. Her mother points the finger at Rachel. Anna and Alex investigate. All signs slowly point to Rachel starting the fire that killed their mother. They investigate some more, steal the batteries from Rachel's dildo, and so on. I got to be honest here. This is where these pictures usually lose my interest. A fucking ghost can't rest in peace while it's murderer steals it's life. So, the ghost starts pointing the finger, presenting subtle clues, etc. Why can't the ghost just come out and say it. Maybe give them something obvious. Instead, it just sorta freaks them out, nearly gives them a heart attack by appearing at the most inopportune moments, etc. Also, I hate that scene that appears in most of these movies where characters look at microfilm to figure out the source of evil, what happened to those ghosts to make them so mad, why was their house built on an Indian burial ground/morgue, etc. Still, this movie has all that shit but at least it's done pretty well. They stick with the ol' Dad's girlfriend is a nurse who murdered some kids type of cliche, which isn't quite as well used as the others. Still, despite this stuff I'm not too fond of, we still got Browning to look at. Seriously, star in the making.

This one is full of some good creepy visuals. I particularly liked the visitation Anna receives from her just recently deceased boyfriend with the recently broken back. There's some good shit at a funeral involving a little dead red head that leads Anna to even more microfilm and thus more clues about Rachel's past. Of course, dad doesn't believe her. Why should he? She's certifiable. Certifiably adorable.

As Rachel, Banks is good. Some of her behavior early on in the picture doesn't really make sense when you think about how this one wraps up. A red herring is a red herring I guess. She does a good job of portraying a syringe wielding, dildo using, over bearing, wants to be a mother but doesn't quite have the make up for it, type. She tries.

Here's another confession. I guessed immediately that Alex wasn't really there. Well, not in the sense that an alive human being would be. See, I assumed she was a ghost too. No one, besides Anna, spoke to her directly, responded to her questions , or questioned that she and Anna were a bit too close, if you know what I mean (sharing a bed, the tub, etc). I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. I was. Sort of. The Uninvited ends in an unexpected way. Actually, it's pretty shocking when you think about it. Sorta horrific. A little heartbreaking even. They fooled me. Good job.

This is a good one made better by low expectations. If anyone but Emily Browning had starred in this thing I probably wouldn't have jived to it as much. It's not really my type of picture, but it's probably near the top of it's type. Of all the remakes of far east ghost-type horror films I'd put this one near the top, a few notches below The Ring. It's PG-13, sure, but it's not noticeable. I was surprised that it didn't pull it's punches at the end.

The Sister in Law (1974)

Enough with the quality shit. Virgin Spring was good and all but I felt out of my comfort zone. Well, what the fuck is this? An eight movie set filled with 70s drive-in classics? Now that I've seen them all I can safely say that the most entertaining pictures in this set are either Malibu High or The Teacher with special notice reserved for Cindy & Donna for it's progressive views on teen-aged, step-sister sexuality. That was a good one.

The Sister in Law is another good one, which is something I kinda expected once I noticed John Savage in the cast. Savage is probably the best actor in the entire set and I'm pretty sure he's been nominated for an oscar or two or maybe none. He was pretty good as the crippled buddy of Walken, Deniro, and Cazale in that 70s vietnam epic Deer Hunter and I would argue even better as the photographer always looking for the perfect shot in Salvador. His characters always seem a tad unhinged. Lately, he's been seen in a couple of Terrence Malick pictures (The Thin Red Line and The New World) where it almost seems like he's wandering in from another movie, usually drunk, muttering nonsensicals and then wandering off camera again. I love the guy.

Consider how impressed I was when Savage's name appears twice in the credits. Once as Robert Strong and, again, as the "score". Yeah, that's right, Savage did the fucking music for this thing and, to be honest, it's not all that bad. There's not a whole lot to it actually. One scene incorporates a banjo which I kinda liked. I'm guessing he was doing a favor for the director. Maybe they were friends and it's probable that Savage has some kind of background in music so I guess it's a perfect fit. I just checked his imdb credits and, yes, this is the only time he worked as a composer. That's a good thing. The music is solid but he's still a much better actor. He's actually very good in Sister in Law.

The title is not very indicative of the movie though, that's one thing I've got to take issue with. Yeah, they were probably trying to lure in a certain type of crowd but this is more of a crime drama. A more apt title would be The Brother, but that's not the kind of title that would get guys into the theatre. Sure, there is a sister in law, and she does have sex with the brother in law (Savage). After the first 20-30 minutes she becomes such a peripheral character though. I mean, the mistress probably gets more screentime, or at the very least they're even. The Mistress would be too generic a title. No one wants a movie that features vanilla sex. Everyone bangs their mistress (that's why she's the mistress) but who bangs their sister-in-law? It's one step away from a real tabboo.

This is really a picture about two brothers. One is a rich guy, settled down, trying to break into the movie producing business. He's played by some guy named Will Macmillan (Edward). He lives in a mansion on the outskirts of New York City with his wife, Joanna (Anne Saxon). Joanna is home alone one day, sunbathing by the pool when Edward's brother, Robert (Savage), comes home. Robert is a drifter which we can figure out by his army sack and his scraggily beard. Also living in the house are the two elderly parents of Robert and Edward, but they mostly stay out of sight. Sometimes, Edward's mistress swings by the house but Joanna is ok with it. She's got her eyes on Robert anyway. Edward is a bad guy. He embraces his brother and then they engage in a little game of pool basketball that leaves Robert bloodied. Ed openly cheats on his wife. He runs drugs for the mob and also owes them a boat load of money on top of that. Robert seems like he's a much better person, a guy with ethics at least, or maybe I'm thinking of morals. But then he sleeps with his brother's wife while eyeing his brother's mistress. That is pretty weird I think to follow up banging your sister-in-law with banging your mistress-in-law. That is probably no easy task. In this family,however, it's not too hard since there are no secrets.

The filmmaking is a step above most of the pictures in this collection. I mentioned Savage's solid score. I also liked the verite feel to everything. I want to mention John Cassavattes as an inspiration for the director but that would be me being a poseur because I've never seen a Cassavattes film. Certain scenes reminded me of Mean Streets and I've read Cassavattes was an inspiration for that particular Scorsese picture so we'll just go with that. Also, young Savage reminds me somewhat of a young Keitel. And there are two gangsters in this thing that have sort of an Abbott and Costello routine that reminded me a bit of the fat guy in the pool hall from Mean Streets and whoever he was making fun of in that particular scene. There's a great scene between Savage and the mistress in her apartment that is interestingly shot. He's obviously fallen in love with her, by this point (I think it's their second meeting). The scene seems improvised and is shot with a hand held camera. It's very intimate, raw, and effective. I liked when Savage dropped an empty wine bottle out a window and into the busy city street below. He pauses for a minute and then looks out...."see, didn't hit nobody!"

Like Mean Streets (I'm guessing this was a major inspiration the more I think about it) the majority of this picture is care free and loose, almost a sense of whimsy about it. Characters are joking around, no one's life is threatened. Ed claims to be a marked man, but we don't really believe him. The picture could have ended without any violence and I would have been satisfied. Even the two gangsters seem completely unthreatening. At one point, Ed convinces Robert to run some drugs up to Canada and the gangsters follow him to make sure he completes the drop. They stop at a hamburger stand and the following exchange takes place after the fat guy returns with a bag of hamburgers:

Little gangster: give me a burger, will ya.
Fat gangster: (clearly peturbed) you didn't order any!
Little gangster: are you fuckin kiddin me tubby, how many are you gonna eat? you've got ten in there!

It plays a lot better than it reads, believe me. The point is I never really believed these two capable of whacking (gangster speak for murdering) a guy.

This is a good one with an ending that is legitimately shocking. I think it's worth seeing if you are a fan of John Savage or even just a fan of naked breasts. Who knows, if they had packaged this thing differently back when it came out it might be available as a standalone DVD. I think you can pick this 8-movie set up for $6.99. There is a funny line when Ed says "the movie business is gonna get me out of the gangster business" which would be like leaving the frying pan for the fire, or so I'm told. He has a funny movie pitch that doesn't go very well as evidenced by the producer saying "I don't understand, you want the audience to feel sympathy for this son of a bitch". It's funny because we can imagine the star of the movie Ed is pitching being just like Ed, himself. Get it? Ed is a son of a bitch in this thing and is afforded a hero's exit but the audience doesn't like him 'cause he's a son of a bitch. We want vile, awful things to happen to him as soon as the credits roll. What's the technical term used for when a movie within a movie emulates the movie? I guess there are those of us who might think Robert had it coming when he tells his brother, over the phone, "I love your wife and your mistress and I threw your heroin into a mountain stream" but still, I think we've all, at least, thought about saying this to our own brothers at one point in time. The music at the end of this thing was perfect..."it's a living classic situation"...not sure who performed it, perhaps Savage. I think the relationships between brothers their wives and mistresses is what going to the movies is all about.