Also known as Beverly Hills 90210: The Shunting. Well, it's not even close. This is by far the best of all Steve picks, sure to never be topped. It's got everything one could ask for in a picture; nudity, gore, weird special effects, vapid teenagers, and a scene where one character sticks his arm up another character's ass so that his hand comes out his mouth. Amazing. The magnum opus of director Brian Yuzna (Bride of Re-Animator, Beyond Re-Animator, Beneath Still Waters, etc). It's also Yuzna's first movie behind the lens. Previously, he made his name as a producer of one of Moving Picture Trashes favorites, The Re-Animator. He should have stopped while he was ahead.
Billy Warlock (Baywatch) stars as Billy Whitney, a Beverly Hills teen who seemingly has it all. A loving family, a bitchy girlfriend, a sweet mullet, a starring role on his high school basketball team, and a hot sister that he can spy on while she's showering (wait, should her breasts be on the same side as her ass?), changing...or even shunting. If it seems too good to be true, that's because it is. Just below the surface are some sinister goings on. Billy, during one of his frequent trips to the psychiatrist, senses it as well: "I feel like something's gonna happen". He begins hallucinating; worms in his apple, sister showering with her upper body facing the wrong way, hot broad with a short skirt sitting spread eagled in the front row while he debates the requisite nerd for the position of student body president. Fantastic debate, by the way. Billy claims that dress codes suck while the nerd says "you're just using your athletic ability to get the votes of this moronic audience". The nerd has my vote.
Speaking of Billy's athletic ability. Are you fucking kidding me?? The kids 5'2" in high heels. Yet, here he is, the star of the basketball team. Unless he's turning into a werewolf at the half and going Teen Wolf on us, I just don't see it. He's no fucking Brandon Walsh, that's for sure. Anyway, while Billy is cleaning house at the debate, he's missing his sister, Jenny's "coming out" party. Thankfully, the local peeping tom, David provides him a tape of the preceedings. On the tape, we hear her father say to Jenny (his daughter!!!) "first we dine, then copulation. First someone your own age, then your mother and me....and then the host". Uh huh. So, that's how they do the sweet sixteen in Beverly Hills. What follows are some pretty weird sex noises. I wasn't sure where the movie was going at this point, but I couldn't turn it off.
The movie is a mystery of sorts, with Billy teaming up with local skank Clarissa to find out what's going on in town. Clarissa delivers the best line of the picture when she asks Billy "how do you like your tea? Cream? Sugar? Or, do you want me to pee in it?" Girl after my own fucking perverted heart. Clarissa's mom agreed and coughed up a hair ball. This one just builds and builds and builds to a rousing climax. Billy confronts his parents who tell him he'll "make a great contribution to society". People disappear. David, the peeping tom, dies in a car accident. Was it an accident? Did he die? Will he be shunted?
Ok, the movie makes a bit of a statement about upscale society and fitting in, etc. Who gives a shit? I guess I just care about the tits and various scenes of inserting body parts into various other body parts. Is the town overrun by these shunters? What the fucks a shunter anyway? There's a terrific party at the end where a character known as "the judge" is introduced. "The judge" likes to suck on a fat stoagie and shunt the shit out of his guests. So, I guess you'd like to know what shunting is? According to webster it's "the act of fornicating by merging multiple bodies into one large liquid motherfucking gooey ball". Let me tell you, it's sexy as shit. The effects in this thing are disgustingly amazing. We've got heads where asses should be...and asses where heads should be. Breasts still look as good on one's back as they do on their chest, let me tell you. The judge gets to tell Billy, "The rich have always sucked off low class shit like you". His later line "and now we'll get to the bottom of this" leads directly into the picture's nastiest scene.
I can't recommend this one enough. I watched it on VHS, but it's available on DVD as well. At some point, I'll be making a purchase. Perhaps in a 2-pack with Spontaneous Combustion. If you like your visual effects raw, gooey, and involving an orgy of writhing bodies merging on the floor this one's for you. Also, there's a great shot of camel toe on the beach. Sold!
8 comments:
I laughing and my face hurts. Like, A LOT.
You need to see this one. I think it's available on netflix so add it to your queue and put it at the top. Just shunting do it already!
"girl after my own fucking perverted heart" is, I think, the central, idiosyncratic JOY of this site...
LOTS more to share!
of course that wasn't Sam - who wouldn't be caught dead watching ANY of these movies - but me. I assume you all know that by now.
I love the name of the guy that did the makeup effects for this thing: Screaming Mad George. That's how they list him in the credits. He's a genius. This movie was like vintage Cronenberg only, you know, consistently entertaining.
Okay, I've read your review and I have no idea what the plot of this movie is. I don't think it's your fault but the fault of that bastard Steve. The minute I saw "Steve Pick" at the bottom, I knew I was in for a pig's breakfast of a movie.
Elmo, my face is sore from saying "Ew!"
I assume that the pig's breakfast involves a lot of bacon.
mmmmm.....bacon.
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