4. Malatesta's Carnival of Blood (1973) / Director: Christopher SpeethMalatesta's Carnival of Blood is one of those 70s films that looks like it was financed by and for drugs. Essentially, this thing is an art installation turned into a moving picture. The plot, so much as there was a plot, involved a carnival (but not a traveling carnival) somewhere in Pennsylvania (I think) that never has guests and the carnies are all weird bloodsucking freaks. There's Malatesta (pictured above) the rarely seen owner of the Carnival and also Dr. Blood, the guy that runs the carnival. As the film opens, we see a couple with an obnoxious daughter as they are led, by Carny, Kip (not a bloodsucking freak) to the Tunnel of Love. They never exit the ride and later we see Kip cleaning up blood. Oh, and also there's a mute caretaker named Mr. Bean who walks around with a trash bag and a trash picker, poking at staff and, the rare, customer that walks in his path. Also, there's a guy named Frank and his wife who are staying on the premises with their daughter, Vina. Vina, as much as this movie could possibly have such a thing, would be considered the main character, the proverbial Alice, I suppose.
Taken as a film with a narrative that moves from point A to point B, Malatesta would be considered a failure. However, we certainly would never dream of taking this film in that way. It's almost entirely dream logic based. Elements of the film, sound design & general griminess, recall the previous years' The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. What separates this film from that one is the lack of a propulsive story and characters. Dr. Blood and Malatesta, for example, appear to have been cast directly from the parking lot of the local 5 and dime. At one point, Malatesta implores his army of Cannibals to "get them, my pretties!" Which points to the most fascinating aspect of this picture. Deep in the catacombs of the park, there is a film projector constantly in action where Malatesta and his troupe absorb film after film from the Silent era. This adds to the film's disconnectedness from the current era (i.e., the 70s) and certainly from reality.
Everything does culminate eventually in a sort of bloodbath when the Cannibals are finally unleashed upon the guests (again, no proper guests, just the names I've listed above, including Vina). There's no real climax. The picture ends and seemingly begins anew with the park running as before eliciting a bemused "huh" from the audience (me). I do want to add that Herve Villechaize (Fantasy Island) appears as the twisted dwarf ,Bobo which made be both happy and sad simultaneously. His performance was good, just sad to see him relegated to what amounted to a regional horror production. Unfortunately, this is probably not (yet) a cult classic.
5. The Tomb of Ligeia (1964) / Director: Roger Corman
The Tomb of Ligeia is one of the Edgar Allen Poe adaptations that Roger Corman directed. We often forget what a fine director Corman was before he mostly gave it up to become a full time producer. This picture opens with the burial of Verden Fell's (Vincent Price) wife, the titular Ligeia (Elizabeth Shepherd) in consecrated ground. The local clergy strenuously object as Ligeia had denounced God and become an avowed atheist. Verden, who suffers from an extreme sensitivity to sunlight, then turns his back on the outside world and retires to the Abbey where he and Ligeia had lived. It is Verden's intention to basically give up on living a social life.
That is until Rowena (also played by Elizabeth Shepherd) injures herself in a fox hunt and is brought to Fell's Abbey to receive some treatment. I don't know, I kinda thought she was to marry that Christopher guy but no, she relentlessly pursues Fell who, against his better judgement, relents. They get married. There's a black cat that's a vicious fucking puss, there's some hallucinations, lots of fire, a recurring fox dream, and a butler who seems to know more than he's letting on. All shot on sets so beautiful, garish, and ruined. The script by legend Robert Towne (Chinatown) seems simple at first but grows more and more complex as we begin to understand the root of this evil, which may or may not be love...or at least the idea of a love so powerful it can consume one from beyond the grave. Also, there's hypnosis I think.
The picture climaxes with more fire, a crumbling Abbey and Fell's silly (yet quite moving??) fight with that black cat. So, this movie is like staunchly anti-Athesist, right? I don't remember the story very well but did Christopher and Rowena ride off into the sunset immediately after her new husband dies to start a new life together? That sounds very Poe. Anyway, this one is pretty good for a hungover Saturday afternoon.
6. Xtro 3: Watch The Skies (1995) / Director: Harry Bromley Davenport
The magic is gone. Xtro (1982) is a classic video nasty containing a scene were a woman gives birth (due to some alien hijinks) to a full grown man and it's really fucking gross. She dies, of course. So, thirteen years later Davenport, who made Xtro and Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990), returns with Xtro 3 and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. Now, I fully admit to not having seen Xtro II so perhaps there is precedent for this director not even half assedly attempting to one-up the previous film in the series. That's the first rule of sequels! More is better. Be Bigger! The first movie has a woman torn apart as she gives birth to a full grown person. I honestly can't remember a single other element from that movie. So, you gotta do something. Pretend to try and top it! Xtro 3 has a spider web that's acidic?? I guess???? I mean, it leaves a mark on a few characters I suppose. The alien-thing has a long tongue-a-majig. That's something.
Anyway, the best part of Xtro 3 is the beginning newsreel 1950s newsreel footage which goes to great lengths to disprove the existence of UFOs. There's even a scene in this footage of young Martin Starr being forced to retract UFO footage he shot as a hoax. So, the set-up being "Trust No One" and "Don't believe a word the government says". As the actual picture begins, we find our hero, a badly scarred Lt. Martin Kirn (Sal Landi), holed up in a seedy motel somewhere telling his story to a reporter. Kirn was part of a mission to land on an island and detonate some leftover bombs or some shit like that. Robert Culp collects a few bucks by ordering him to do that island bomb detonating thing. Andrew Divoff, once a nice little supporting actor appearing in such mainstream fare as "The Hunt for Red October" appears as the menacing and, clearly, duplicitous commander of the mission, Captain Fetterman. This guy's an asshole from the start, even ordering Kirn at the beginning to "keep your hands off Watkins" (I'm not even sure Kirn's met Watkins by this part of the story, but ok). Watkins is a female soldier and Fetterman's direct subordinate. He barks her name when he needs something and even roughs her up a few times here and there. Helluva guy. The rest of the platoon wouldn't even satisfy as stand-ins in Aliens, the movie this one is mostly closely ripping off. We've got the mission, we've got the trip (by boat), we've got the landing (by boat) and then we've also got a Newt character (in the form of an old man) as well as a shit ton of bunny rabbits (I forget exactly what caused the infestation but I can assure you it was inconsequential).
Oh yeah, and there's a fucking alien. A single fucking alien. The alien has the ability to cloak itself and it's stark fucking naked so that cloaking ability is a part of it's biology? I guess? Oh yeah, this movie also rips off Predator. I mean, it's fun for a little while in that mid to late 90s Sci-Fi channel type of way. None of the characters, beyond Divoff's caustic Fetterman, stand out in any interesting way. I guess the most fascinating element of the picture is the alien's motivation. By stag film in old man Newt's cave, we learn that this poor little shit was forced to witness the torture of his (or her!) partner by some government spooks, back in the 50s. So now, his vengeance is unleashed when a platoon stumbles upon his island presenting him with an opportunity for some payback torture. This is a motivation usually ascribed to a boogeyman in a slasher film. Yet, here, because this is a not a slasher film, it's kinda interesting. You kinda had a novel idea there, Davenport. Sorry, that sounded snide. This picture didn't kill me. I just really wanted to see how Davenport topped that birthing scene from the first one. Instead, he didn't even try. Maybe in Xtro 4, coming soon.?
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