OCTOBER 14, 2019
The Lift (1983)
Movie #16
Director: Dick Maas
Length: 99 minutes
Platform: Shudder
"The Lift" reminded me of Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" in its depiction of the way obsession can destroy one's home life. Felix, the obsessive in question, is married with kids. At home, he repairs radio control cars while his wife cooks and stuff. When she's out, he "watches" the kids and inevitably sends them too bed far too late (i.e., after the wife comes home). He's so oblivious to his family that he doesn't even realize that there are a myriad of swirling rumors about his infidelity (not true -- he just doesn't really understand boundaries). His wife is miserable and that bleeds into the mood of his kids. Like Roy Neary ("Close Encounters") his family is teetering on the brink. Also like Neary, Felix pours all of himself into his job and later the thing that stands in for UFOs in this picture: a fucking homicidal elevator.
So, this one's got a great set up. In the middle of this unknown city (the film is Dutch, the city is Industrial, there's no one around) stands a new state of the art high rise. The high rise holds apartments and shops and one restaurant (The Restaurant Icarus, possibly an ill advised name). A bunch of revelers get shit-faced in the restaurant. A pair of couples. They leave the restaurant, wonder if they can remember where the lift is, lightning strikes the building, they get in the lift, the lift stops between floors, the AC conks out, and they slowly succumb to the heat. One of the ladies has her top off and was gyrating against her man. Frantically, the building maintenance crew tries to rescue them. Eventually, the lift moves again, arrives at the first floor. The door opens and we never see what's insides, just the horror on the maintenance crews' faces. Well............next day we learn....everyone's fine! Just an overnight stay in the hospital is all. A little bit of heat exhaustion or whatever.
So, these lift "attacks" slowly progress until they become real, genuine, hilarious attacks. Like the security guy that gets his head stuck in the door. Or...shit, forgot about this one; the blind guy that walks onto the lift only the lift isn't there. Blind guy plummets to his death. Good ol' blind humor. Way to go movie. Anyway, back to the plot...and boy is there a lot of it. Felix is contracted to fix the elevator. It seems ok, but something is certainly off. He teams up with a journalist (a female! is what one particularly despicable guy exclaims) to get to the bottom of things. We've got an evil tech company, a child in peril, some hilariously dubbed dialogue ("Dad, what's adultery all about?"), computer mumbo jumbo, supernatural tech shit, and a, surprisingly, effective climax with Felix hanging in an elevator shaft trying to destroy some gelatinous bio-chips or something. It sounds amazing, I know. Just be prepared for 30 minutes of detective bullshit in the middle. I said it reminded me of "Close Encounters".
OCTOBER 15, 2019
Dan Curtis' Dracula (1974)
Movie #17
Director: Dan Curtis
Length: 98 minutes
Platform: Shudder
Man, these Dracula pictures are kind of all the same. This is one of the classy ones, a British TV production from the early 70s. As a kid, I had seen the 1979 "Dracula" starring Frank Langella and with Laurence Olivier as Van Helsing and directed by John Badham ("War Games", "Blue Thunder"). It scared the crap out of me. I think I must have confused it with this one, which stars a wonderfully (thankfully) subdued Jack Palance as the count and Nigel Davenport as Van Helsing and directed by Dan Curtis (best know, to me, for "Trilogy of Terror" but he also created "Dark Shadows" which elicits some passion in some people). So, here's the story. Dracula summons a London Real Estate agent (Jonathan Harker) to come to Transylvania and show him some listings in London. Dracula agrees to buy a place (Carfax), makes all the proper arrangements, and traps Harker in his castle along with his 3 wives. Oh yeah, all vampires. Dracula too. Did you know he's a vampire? Dracula is not a monster. It's a name. The person named Dracula is the monster. Dracula is a name he's held for thousands of years, given to him after one of his many battles defending Hungary from the invading whatevers. It means "devil". Ok, so Harker's trapped in the castle. Dracula commissions a ship, The Demeter, to take him to London. As far as the crew knows, they're just transporting cargo (ten wooden boxes full of dirt). It doesn't end well for the crew (no scenes take place aboard The Demeter, sadly -- it's skipped over in most of the adaptations -- I haven't read the book, to be honest, maybe that goes into more detail).
Ok, Dracula is now in London. Oh yeah, did I mention he fell in love with a photo of a woman named Lucy that Harker had on his person? He did. Lucy is not Harker's betrothed. She's actually betrothed to some guy named Arthur.....and then Lucy, in her estate...or her friend's estate...or maybe an Inn takes ill...and what's with those two bite marks on her neck? In comes Van Helsing, who immediately knows what's up. They set traps for Dracula but, he evades them every time. Lucy dies. Dracula sets his sights on Mina (Harker's old lady). She's no Lucy, who reminded him of his long dead wife, but well Lucy's dead. Oh wait, she was dead and then she became undead. And then....well, dead again. Her being dead again, causes Dracula to fly into a fit of rage. His rage fits lead to....oh shit, we all know this story, right? Do I need to retell the part about how Arthur and Van Helsing investigate shipping company after shipping company by poring over their manifests? All because old Lady Menestra heard a story about a grounded Russian ship, carrying lots of coffins filled with dirt? Their fine detective work eventually, leads them to Carfax...and then a chase back to Transylvania to "destroy" Dracula (they like to talk about him like he's a dog without feelings) before Mina (oh, yeah...he bit her) is beyond hope....and maybe they can save Jonathan while they're at it?
There's a fight in Dracula's castle that left me wondering why a filthy rich vampire would settle for hanging sheets on his windows. Board that shit up, Dracula. Or, I'm sure you could get some of those fancy wood shutters that, while fairly easily openable, don't come down with the flick of a wrist. So, it's a Dracula film. There's some good atmosphere in the Transylvania scenes and then things get a bit stuffy back in London. It's a TV movie so the gore is relegated to a bit of painted on blood and maybe a blood packet or two opening and leaking whilst inside one's mouth. Also, fuck...I totally forgot. Who makes a Dracula picture and forgets to include Renfield? Zero stars.
The Mind's Eye (2016)
Movie #18
Director: Joe Begos
Length: 87 minutes
Platform: Shudder
Schlocktober Fest 2019 is, at this point, just one long advertisement for Shudder. Anyway, here's another picture I watched on the streaming service called "The Mind's Eye" about some guys that probably never even heard of "Scanners". Or, made by some guys that obsessed over "Scanners" and wondered what it'd be like to remake it only remove all the "boring" (i.e., dramatic) parts. This is the story of a young man (Zack) who has abilities to movie things with his mind. When he was a kid, we learn he moved his mom's brain by accident. She died "before she hit the ground". Totally your fault, Zack, despite what your girlfriend says. So, Zack is sent to the Slovak Institute of Psychokinetics (see above picture) run by Dr. Michael Slovak who is totally not the bad guy of this picture.
Kidding, Slovak is a piece of shit who is extracting spinal fluid from these subjects (including Zack's girlfriend, Rachel -- played by Lauren Ashley Carter, this month's "Darling") and later injecting it into the back of his neck. He become so addicted to these injections that he demands them (he has a nurse who administers this shit) even while his life in in immediate danger. Ok, Zack and Rachel manage to escape (a good samaritan is killed -- off screen -- in, what seemed slyly, funny?). So, Slovak has a bunch of scumbag henchman including the eye patch wearing, Travis (he's also got the gift which has only become stronger every since he had his eye plucked out). There's another shit heel henchman but I'm struggling with his name....Curtis, I think. His head explodes (spoiler) in an homage to the original "Scanners". I really think they made this movie because the filmmakers just wanted to explode some heads...and rip apart some bodies. Also, there's a great axe kill...the second greatest axe kill of the month, in fact, after one in "The Furies".
Larry Fessenden is in here somewhere as well. He plays Zack's dad. He's the most human character in the film. He's given some tender moments and a great send-off. The guy that played Slovak....I..I couldn't tell if his acting was good or not. Not because it was subtle, it was the exact opposite of subtle. If bile, literal bile, was in a movie, this guy would be played by that bile. So, congratulations are in order. My favorite scene...was another death scene (all the death scenes are good to great) and involved Travis, lying prone on his back, immobilized as Zack, with his mind, hovers an axe a mere few feet above his neck.
Zack: I've always hated you Travis.
Travis: I know.
Travis was not a great character until that moment, his last moment. We rarely get such self awareness in our villains. So, this isn't really a good one. It is, however, fun, never meanders, gets in and gets out, has lots of 80s neon, gloss, stand-up sex, exploding heads, bodies, mind battles, etc. Wait, maybe all this means it's good? I don't know, watch "Scanners" first, I guess. This'll look better in hindsight.
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