OCTOBER 20, 2019
Gwen (2019)
Movie #22
Director: William McGregor
Length: 84 minutes
Platform: Shudder
I was listening to "The Big Picture" podcast today (10/28) where they picked the best horror movies of the decade. They came up with rules for what makes a horror movie (my pedantic ears immediately perked up). They settled on two rules; 1) there has to either be a supernatural element or 2) there must be visceral violence / gore. I think they missed a few. One of the hosts cited "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" as belonging to the latter category because of its excessive gore, which led me to believe he hasn't watched TCM in a while. Also, their rules would excise something like "The Wicker Man" (absolutely horror), since there's no supernatural element and there's no gore and little violence. What it does (and many other horror films do) is create an unsettling, I'm not sure what's going on here, atmosphere where a protagonist finds himself in way over his head, usually due to outside, and sometimes internal, forces. This would probably be labeled as something like "cult" horror. Not in the sense that it has a small audience (though this is often true) but that the antagonists are members of an actual cult and are grooming the protagonist for something truly awful (unbeknownst to him or her). "Kill List" (a movie they claim to not be horror) would also fall into this category. Anyway, I got irrationally upset (since I tend to like the podcast and they discuss horror on it, frequently). Oh well, I'm fine.
So, here we have a picture called "Gwen" about a young girl living in the hills of 18th century Wales with her family. The father is off fighting in a war so she (Gwen) and her, sickly, mother and sister are left to tend their sheep farm on their own. There's an epidemic of sheep deaths and also a neighboring family was found to have been slaughtered shortly after their own sheep were also slaughtered. Probably not a great omen then that Gwen and family wake up one morning to find their own sheep massacred. The atmosphere is thicker than the pea soup mist that drifts across the hills. The family is a bit ostracized from the town (the mother's sickness viewed as demonic possession -- she's afflicted with what's most likely epilepsy). Is there something supernatural going on? It's hinted at, for sure, but what we're dealing with here is a story of paranoia bred by ignorance. This is a depressingly terrific picture reminiscent of other films like "The Witch" and...well, some other film I watched on Shudder ("Hezagawa" or something) where a baby is eaten by a witch. I don't know, can't remember, not doing the research. Watch "Gwen" is my point. No babies are eaten, sadly.
The Guardian (1990)
Movie #23
Director: William Friedkin
Length: 93 minutes
Platform: VOD
At some point, I'll probably want to do a ranking of the top 5 or so pictures I watched this Schlocktober and I'd be shocked if Friedkin's "The Guardian" doesn't make the cut. This is an insane film about druids that worship a tree god and feed him (or her!) babies, usually at about 4 months or so, when the blood is most pure (this movie is basically an advertisement against breastfeeding; stick to the formula, moms!). Anyway, Friedkin is a master, but this movie is silly, in a glorious way. I suspect Friedkin was trying to give the finger to those who were begging him to make another horror movie (almost two decades after he delivered "The Exorcist"). Again, this one is really fucking silly. We got a couple relocating from Chicago to the Hollywood Hills (he's an ad man / photographer and she's a womb). Immediately, she gets pregnant (we are witness to the Cinemax after dark style love making session) and gives birth. For some reason, they hire a nanny from the Guardian Angel Nanny Co. The mother doesn't work and they're not making much money to begin with but, this being the 90s, a full-time live in nanny was an expense they could live with, apparently. Anyway, after their first choice impales herself on a cactus in walks Celeste, the perfect nanny! Except, you know, she floats around the woods, has a pack of coyotes at her beck and call, and comes on to the husband (the least of their worries). The supporting cast includes Miguel Ferrer (in a small role as the man's --seriously, not looking up these names -- new boss). Ferrer is sleazy without being sleazy. It's just how he is and I appreciate his type. Xander Berkley shows up at the end as the detective who shows incredible restraint, in his one scene, when the husband and wife appear at his precinct with the story of a witchy nanny, coyotes, and a tree that fucking eats people. It fucking eats people.
OCTOBER 21, 2019
Eli (2019)
Movie #24
Director: Ciaran Foy
Length: 98 minutes
Platform: Netflix
"Eli" is a pretty solid movie with a pretty wild twist that I didn't really see coming. I'd like to think the movie didn't set it up at all but, no, it's probably just me. I'll spoil it below, so be wary. Anyway, we got the story of a mother and father and their son, Eli (I like when the name is in the title, makes it easy to remember) going to some sort of hospital so that Eli can be treated for whatever ails him. As far as I can tell, he's a bubble boy with an extreme sensitivity to all things in the outside world. The doctor that will care for Eli is played by Lily Taylor in a pretty Lily Taylor (i.e., tremendous) role. So, Eli gets suspicious after Taylor and her staff begin draining fluids out of his spine or brain or wherever. Left, often, to his own devices he wanders the hospital and is followed by ghosts or his imagination. Mom and dad are also staying at the hospital but they're not of much help. Eli also talks with a girl on the outside, through a window (Is she real, a ghost, imaginary friend?). The first 80 minutes of this thing are standard ghost house fare. We got smudge marks on windows, bumps, moving sheets, etc. Standard, kind of dull. And...then....and then.....
.....after learning that the doctor has not cured one single patient (the bodies are all found in the basement) it turns out that Eli isn't really a sick little boy after all. He's the fucking antichrist...or an antichrist, maybe there are several? How else to explain the bodies in the basement? Eli buys into his new existence and decimates some human flesh including the face of his father (in one particularly gruesome moment, lots of gruesome moments at the end). So, I liked this one but only because of the last twenty or so minutes. Otherwise, it's mostly forgettable. Of note, Foy also directed the much better "Citadel".
OCTOBER 23, 2019
The Influence (2019)
Movie #25
Director: Denis Rovira van Boekholt
Length: 101 minutes
Platform: Netflix
Here's another spooky tale where a child murders people (albeit without agency). This one's a Spanish horror number, complete with subtitles, if that's your bag. A mother and her family (blue collar, lazy-ish husband, and daughter) move back to the home where she grew up to care for her dying mother. Her sister, overwhelmed with the task, begged her to come and help. The mother's a nurse, so it makes sense. Also, the mother that is dying is some sort of witch (the kind that can possess her precocious young granddaughter and make her do some awful shit).
The backstory: When the witch's two daughters were young they accidentally "caused" the death of their father when he fell down the basement stairs and impaled his face on some antlers. The mother never forgave them so her long con was to become deathly ill to lure everyone back to the house where she can then slowly possess the body of young Nora (the granddaughter -- checked my notes for this name, too many characters to just refer to everyone as mother, sister, daughter, etc) so her vile spirit can live on after her body succumbs to old age. This picture is pretty creepy. Lots of heavy wheezing from grandma's bed. Also, there's some spider imagery in here that points to ol' grammy as being some kind of spider witch, I guess. Nora makes a friend. Nora's friend is worse than Nora, takes to keying cars. There's a brutal face bashing by children, followed by a burial in the garden. Again, solid picture of escalating, unsettling, mayhem. It'll take a while before I forget the scene where a nurse treats gram's bed sores. Recommended.
OCTOBER 25, 2019
Rattlesnake (2019)
Movie #26
Director: Zak Hilditch
Length: 85 minutes
Platform: Netflix
"Rattlesnake" is a dime a dozen picture that used most of it's budget on the overhead desert shots (think "Dark Knight" overhead shots, the kind of shot that's now a cliche if you have enough coin) of Lilly (another mother, lots of mothers in this batch) driving her daughter Clara somewhere, I forget where. Characters are always escaping something in these pictures, usually heading to California. Lilly turns on the Tony Robbins podcast and I felt a tingle in my spine. Later, the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and little Clara wanders off to pee only to be bitten by the titular creature. Broken car, young girl with a rattler bite, miles from civilization......all sounds like a death sentence. Except, where did that trailer come from? And what's with the shadowy woman inside the trailer who heals the bite (with no medicine) and mutters something about "collecting payment later"? That was weird. So, here we have another "Tales from the Crypt" episode stretched out to feature length. Another morality yarn that I couldn't help but like. So, the payment required is another soul, apparently, says the lawyerly guy that visits Lilly and Clara in their hospital room (yeah, she got the car fixed). So, the rest of the picture involves Lilly trying to figure out who she can murder while feeling least bad about murdering said person. This is the type of shit I like. Is it the guy that forces his wife to stand naked on a chair, balancing heavy encyclopedias in each hand while he watches MMA and slugs beer? Maybe. Also, that guy gave a pretty great performance. And the violence, while ultimately sparse, hits pretty hard. I found it enjoyable that losing your soul to this particular entity involved eternal servitude based around the occupation you held in life. For most of us, that's a fucking nightmare. Not bad I guess, just overlong.
OCTOBER 27, 2019
Wax Mask (1997)
Movie #27
Director: Sergio Stivaletti
Length: 98 minutes
Platform: Shudder
This is it. This is the best one I've seen this month. Sleazy, gross, atmospheric, etc. "Wax Mask" opens with inspectors investigating a murder scene (late 19th century Rome) ripe with severed hands, splayed organs, artistic blood spray. Under the bed of the victim, hides a little girl, the victim's daughter. Cut to twelve years later, that little girl grows up to be Sonya, a fashion designer who goes to work for Dr. Boris, the auteur behind Rome's newest attraction, a wax museum that displays scenes of the macabre (there's medusa, Jack the Ripper, the murders in the Rue Morgue). Of course, Sonya finds it a bit odd that one of the exhibits is a replica of the murder of her mother, which includes details that were not even revealed to the press. So, that's a kicker she says after finally landing a gig in her preferred field.
Taking elements of giallos and "The (fucking) Terminator", this is a wonder to behold. Apparently, Dario Argento gave this one to Lucio Fulci to direct but then Fulci died and it went to this Sergio guy who does a masterful job evoking fear through colors and shadow (that would do Argento proud) and gore (that would do Fulci proud). We've got scenes of investigation (involving Sonya, a journalist, and some blind woman) usually followed by scenes of abduction (the killer dresses like the killer from Bava's "Blood and Black Lace" -- there's also a lot of Bava in this picture) where a syringe is plunged into the neck of an unwilling victim, paralyzing them, so they can be dragged away....and...you...know...brought to the wax museum's bowels for experimental procedures, dressing ups, or whatever. Also, this picture reminds me a lot of "Darkman". The score is Eflman-esque and the villain, if he weren't completely despicable, could at least be Darkman's Italian cousin. So, it's a whodunnit where we know almost immediately whodunnit but it doesn't matter because the picture is so damned fun. Also, nudity
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